A childlike worldview and adult pragmatism can co-exist. They don’t cancel each other out unless you pit one against the other. Mailing out your rent and then hashtagging adulting! negates the actual act of getting something done because it switches your motives from completing a necessary task to gaining approval from others.

You don’t have to look further than our attitude toward health care to see it’s true. The United States does not recognize universal health care as a basic human right. This means we believe that if you can’t afford to pay for medical treatment, you deserve to die.

It’s easy to blow this out of proportion and say our privacy has disappeared and we’ve been brainwashed into accepting it because we believe we are lost in a sea of people so even if our information is being recorded there’s no way someone would actually choose us out of the vast well of possibilities. You know why it’s so easy to do that? Because it’s actually true.

But of course, if a businessman realized that covering baby carriages with hypodermic needles could somehow save them seven cents in a fiscal quarter, the playgrounds would be filled with children with what looked to be bleeding chicken pox. All this to say, grocery stores rarely activate more than 20% of their checkout lanes.

Let’s say, for instance, our President were to moon Enrique Pena Nieto, the President of Mexico. They’re supposed to meet to discuss something inconsequential like refugees fleeing gang violence for the opportunity to live a life without the threat of being kidnapped or shot. Something innocuous. And then right before they shake hands, Trump turns around, drops his pants to his ankles, and waves his hideous ass back and forth like the flag majestically floating through the breeze. I’m assuming the press’ cameras would explode in an attempt to get the best shot, and Pena Nieto would either vomit his huevos onto his shoes or simply melt like the guys at the end of Raiders of the Lost Ark. Basically the room would explode and Trump would moonwalk out of there thinking he totally nailed it.

This has become my crusade. I don’t actively look for situations to extol these virtues but they happen to find me fairly often. When somebody does something against the idea of being thoughtful and respectful to the people around you and doesn’t get called out on it, it rewards their bad behavior ensuring they will repeat the mistake. It’s the same idea as how you shouldn’t give a dog a treat for taking a shit on your pillow. Nobody wants shit on their pillow, and you should work to make sure it doesn’t happen again.